ericaamber

Torn

In Uncategorized on November 30, 2011 at 8:28 am

Well it’s almost December, I have an appointment with the french consulate to procure my working visa, I’m preparing to move across the world and I’m just waiting for my contract to be ready. It’s the most excited I’ve ever been in my life. And most possibly the most terrified. I’m loving being home and hating it all at once. I absolutely adore my family and have a really hard time living without them, so leaving them is something I’m dreading. The other thing that’s really tough is how many amazing friends I have here. The more I stay at home, the more I can see my life as it would be if I stayed here. Leaving my amazing Victoria life will honestly tear a piece out of my soul. However, I have come to know myself well enough to know that if I don’t leave I will end up resenting everyone who made me want to stay. I’m in a constant state of delirious happiness mixed with insatiable sadness and restlessness. I have this insatiable desire to see EVERYTHING. When I think about moving to Paris, the mere thought of it literally stops my breath in my chest and makes my heart skip a beat from sheer excitement. As much as I’m sad and scared to leave my life and my loved ones, I know that I would be far more devastated if I didn’t leave. It’s also been a tough few weeks of loss for me, which I won’t get into, but it makes me realize that life is far too short to compromise. I HAVE to follow my dreams and my heart because I owe it to myself to do anything in my power to be as happy as possible, and to sell myself short of my own dreams would be equivalent to dying right here right now. and I’m not ready to die. In short, I am so very ready for my next adventure, no matter how much it will hurt to depart upon it.

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