Scary Movies and Cruise Ships

In Cruise on March 4, 2013 at 2:54 pm

Let me preface this post by saying that I am a horror movie fanatic. Old ones, new ones, all kinds of horror movies, I love em all.  My last roommate on the Liberty was a special kind of scary movie fan that I have only ever encountered on ships. She can’t watch scary movies at home, but on the ships she can. This interesting phenomenon spawned today’s post:

Reasons That Horror Movies are Less Scary on Cruise Ships than in Real Life

1)   You can’t sneakily break into a cruise ship cabin. If you are trying to break into a cabin and murder someone, it’s gonna be tough. There is just one (typically creaky) door, that will spill hideous fluorescent light into the cabin awakening the at least two crew members who are probably getting the only two hours of sleep they’ve had all week and WILL rip your face off if you disturb them. Good luck with that, movie villains.

2)   Once a movie villain kills someone, a speedy getaway is key. On a cruise ship, even if you do manage to get away with murder, where do you think you’re going?? We’re going to find you, we have a brig on board, and it’s international waters….need I say more??

3)   There is virtually no way anyone can sneak a giant machete or gun on board. There are so many metal detectors and x-ray scanners to get on board it’s like a floating airport.

4)   Cabin stewards know EVERYTHING……seriously. Guest Services might be the brain of the ship, but the cabin stewards know what/who/where everyone is doing at all times. If you think you can end a life without a cabin steward somewhere knowing exactly what’s happening, and coming to the rescue, think again. Consider your murderous plot ruined!

5)   You just feel safe living in a box with another person. Most scary movies are built upon the premise that someone in a murderous rage is able to sneak into your life undetected from the outside world. Even real world news can’t sneak into our lives on the ships, let alone a psychopathic murderer……those usually have criminal records and are unable to get passports or travel.

6)   Scary movie villains are angry people.  Vacationers are happy people. You do the math.

All of these factors contribute to make scary movies less scary on cruise ships. In the real world there’s so many places in your home or apartment complex that scary movie villains could hide and get you, cruise ships are happy bubbles where villains can’t get you!

  1. Just found your blog, and it’s fascinating. I’m a cruise agent, and we seldom get to hear a great deal about crew life on board. I’ve seen how hard you all work in guest services (and indeed throughout the ship), and I’m glad you get a chance to have some fun too. The insight into night work was fascinating – I must roam more when the ship is asleep. Thanks for taking me on some of your travels.

    • Thank you so much!! I’ll try to keep writing interesting things, let me know if there is anything specific you’d be interested in hearing about!!

  2. Have you seen ‘Friday the 13th: Jason Takes Manhattan’? It might change your mind about murderers on cruise ships…or it might not. I mean, it’s quite a shit movie.

  3. I’d love to know how you deal with some of the more “challenging” situations, when you don’t have the back up of access to services as you would on land. But I guess that like a tortoise, the ship carries its home with it. You must all have to be pretty resourceful though.

  4. We are generally very resourceful, but the ships are pretty much self-sufficient. We are prepared for any kind of challenging situation you can think of, plus a few that probably never crossed your mind. And we have drills constantly to make sure everything and everyone is fully operational as well.

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